… so don’t you go buying what this picture is selling. The Bold and the Beautiful told us everything that we needed to know about Deacon Sharpe when it introduced the cad in 2000: Rather than step up and be a father to Little Eric, his son with Amber Moore’s late cousin Becky, he incited a bidding war over the child between the Forresters and the Spectras.

Deacon was so put out when Amber chose Rick Forrester over him — we know; imagine her picking the rich, decent guy over the money-grubbing ne’er-do-well! — that the scoundrel whisked off a smitten Bridget Forrester for a quickie wedding in Las Vegas, then took the young woman’s virginity while her family listened in over the phone. While. They. Listened.

Horrified at Bridget’s pick for a starter husband, mom Brooke took it upon herself to try to convince Deacon to divorce her. But once she got a gander at the bad boy’s abs, their intense conversation devolved into pillow talk, after which the discount Casanova agreed not to tell the world that she was having her son-in-law’s baby — hi, Hope! — for a price, of course.

In 2003, Deacon appeared to be turning his life around. Not only did he kick the bottle for the sake of his and Brooke’s daughter, Hope, he fell in love with fellow alcoholic Macy Alexander. Alas, his new beginning had the unhappiest of endings. After he helped Macy relaunch her singing career, she was Phantom of the Opera’d to death by a falling chandelier on the night of her big comeback.

Following Macy’s untimely demise, Deacon pretty much went through lovers the way we do potato chips. First, he carried on with Massimo Marone’s wife Jackie behind the tycoon’s back. And yes, it had to be behind his back; Mojo wasn’t always so accommodating as to cover his eyes like this. Next, the libidinous louse crossed over to The Young and the Restless, where he…